Peas?

peas poetry

Gus has been wandering around all day saying "Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, Pease porridge in the pot, nine days old; Some like it hot, some like it cold, Some like it in the pot, nine days old. . . "

I have no idea what it means, but I wish he'd shut up.

Black

Peas!

Well, spring has sprung as people say. We've been spending a lot of time planting stuff up here on the farm. Today it was peas. Early Alaskan peas to be exact. We've got rows and rows of Early Alaskan peas planted.

It was pleasant, the pea planting . . .

Black

8 days remaining . . .

Easter Bunny

Gus is very excited about Sunday and the Easter Bunny coming. He's stoked about Easter eggs and candy. He even mentioned it to the goats.

They've been in their pen mumbling "Hasenpfeffer. Hasenpfeffer. Hasenpfeffer!" Over and over again. I have no idea what they're talking about. They'll eat anything . . .

Black

Dinner

We had lasagna for dinner tonight. It's basically noodles, cheese, noodles, cheese and sauce. Pretty simple . . . Pretty good.

Black

Ironic?

Out here on the farm we get a little newspaper. It's got all the local news. Who got arrested and who died and even comics. It's called the "Evening Telegram." We've been getting it for years. A guy in a red Jeep delivers it usually sometime after 4 o'clock.

The big news today. . . they're changing the delivery time to a morning paper. Supposed to be delivered by 6 a.m. The guy in the Jeep is gonna have to get up real early.

What I'm wondering, are they going to still call it the "Evening Telegram" or are they gonna drop that?

Black

Goats!

The Darn goats got out again. Farmer chased them for about two hours before he finally herded them back into their paddock. He pulled a muscle in his back. He's not happy. He's looking to hire some trolls . . .

Stupid goats.

Black

Goat Getter

The goats are still up to no good. We're looking for mutton recipes. Send them in . . .

Please. They're asking for it.

Black

Darn Goats

While the goats were out somebody chewed the mud flaps off Farmer's truck and some one chewed a hole in the front tire on the tractor and somebody ate the mail and the newspaper.

We're still looking for someone to blame.

Black

Escape Goats

Well, the goats got out today. Looks like they either chewed through the fence or some how managed to climb over it.

We're looking for some one to blame.

Black

cool.

The weather was gorgeous today. But, even though the sun shined all day, eating ice cream before bed is not a smart idea.

I'm freezing now . . .

Gus

Vitamin D

Oh Yeah . . .

Feeling good today . . . the sun was out all day and losing that hour of sleep to daylight savings time was worth it.

The weather man said it's supposed to be nice all week. Let's hope he's right . . .

Black

March Madness

The radio was talking about March Madness . . . I agree whole heartedly. It's been gray and rainy all day. I'm pretty mad at March myself.

Black

The Monte Cristo . . .

What's the deal with this? It's a sandwich made from French Toast with ham and cheese. It's not breakfast, it's not lunch or brunch.

It's a platypus.

Gus

Breakfast for Lunch = No.

Breakfast for lunch doesn't work for me. It's all confusing. Breakfast for dinner, you know that you're doing something special. Breakfast for lunch is just not right. It's like the El Camino. Not really a car but not really a truck.

Breakfast for lunch is the El Camino of meals. It's brunch. It's confusing.

Gus

Penny Candy

Whatever happened to it? If anybody answers, "Inflation" they're gonna get a hoof in the mouth. The whole idea of getting a sweet piece of awesome for a whole penny is awesome.

I wish we could bring it back.

Black

More Breakfast for Dinner

Oh yeah. And French toast is awesome too!

I love imported food.

Gus

Breakfast for dinner

There's nothing better than breakfast for dinner. Especially pancakes.

It's two great tastes that taste great together. Cake and pan . . . er, um . . . you get what I'm saying. . .

Pancakes!

Gus

300 channels . . .

That's right. We've got 300 channels. Digital Cable and Satellite TV and there's nothing on. Nada. Zip. Nuthin.

How come we still get a bill. Well, Farmer gets the bill . . . but you get the idea.

Goin' to bed,

Black

Banana bread

One of Farmer’s friends had some extra bananas. Not just one or two . . . we’re talking cases. He gave them to Farmer. So, for the past couple days, Farmer has been baking all these bananas into banana bread. At first it was great. A nice warm banana flavored bread with some tasty nuts. But after about the fifteenth loaf, it’s getting old.

Plus now Gus smells like bananas.

Black

As the Crow Flies

Today was garbage day at the farm. Farmer dragged the plastic dumpster out to the edge of the drive way. Me and Gus watched him as he pulled the container through the snow. A bunch of crows landed on the top. Somehow they opened the top and got inside. Boy, Farmer was mad. He rushed out and chased them away. The crows flew into the telephone wires.

Gus said, "Why do they say, "as the crow flies"? They don't seem to go very far."

He has a point.

Black.

Back to the Grind

Well we got about two feet of snow Friday and we spent the weekend digging out. Back breaking shoveling and tedious moving of tons of white snow. It was the heavy wet good snowball making kind.

The only good thing to come out of it was the Hot Chocolate!

Black

Snow Plow

Well, the goats were actually smart this time. It's not fit for man or beast out there. It's snowing like cats and dogs or whatever the winter equivalent is.

With that said, guess where Gus is? That's right. He's out in the snow using the tractor to plow paths to and fro . . .

He needs supervision.

Gotta go . . .

Black

snow emergency

I got a memo from the goats.

"Due to inclement weather we won’t be working tomorrow."

Work? I still haven’t figured out why Farmer even lets those stupid goats live on the farm. Let alone what work they do.

Whether emergency.

Crazy,

Black

whether men

I think they should call meterologists "whether men" because they just tell you whatever they want whether they are right or wrong. We were supposed to get 12 inches of snow. What we really got was 3 inches. Big difference.

I wouldn't know what to do if they called for a nice sun shiny day.

Black

Toast!

I've decided that I like toast much better than bread. Sure, they're basically the same stuff. But toast is so much better. It's warm. It's crunchy. It's buttery. And it's fun to say.

Toast. Toast. Toast? Toast!

Toast,

Gus

Lost?

Gus found out that John Locke has been lost on this island for six seasons. He said, "Even I could get found in six years. Sheesh!"

He might be right.

Black

Gilligan

Last night they had mens figure skating on the Olympics. I just can't watch that stuff. It's like they're trying to make a contest out of art. Anyway, Gus started to flip around on the old remote control. He landed on some show about a bunch of people stranded on an island.

"Oh. Leave it here. This is Gilligan's Island."

Gus said, "Yeah, the three hour tour?"

So we watched. Forty five minuted in and I'm confused. Who is this John Locke guy?

Lost,

Black

Downhill

Gus has watched the Olympics for the past few days. He's really enjoyed it. So much so that he's ordered skis off the internet.

What's going to happen when they show the bob sled?

Black

school books

The mail man delivered a huge box today. It had Gus’s name on it. Farmer dragged it down to the barn. Gus tore the tape off the box and looked inside with a smile.

“Whatcha got?” I asked.

“Correspondence school detective books. I’m gonna learn to be a private eye.” He said. “Yeah. I got two eyes so I should be able to charge double.”

It’s going to be a long weekend.

Black

snow fall so far

We got a whole half inch of snow last night. Barely a dusting. Did Gus help shovel? Only if you count curling up with his blanket and not leaving the barn as helping.

I should have taken a picture.

Black

Snow Day?

Gus heard on the news tonight that we’re supposed to get a big snow storm tonight. The super smart weather guy said we could expect one to eight inches. With heavy winds to boot. Now Gus is in a panic state. He’s made seven trips to the silo to check on the grain and he’s been checking the hay mow every half hour. If he could drive (well enough) he’d have driven downtown and crowded the grocery stores with the little old ladies.

What am I going to do if the weather man is right and we actually get some snow?

Black

Super Bowl

We had a little shin dig for the big game. We were rooting for the Colts because Roy was a big fan. The Goats brought some dip that tasted like . . . well, goat food.

Gus ate a whole bowl of Reese's Pieces. He hasn't felt well all day.

Ha!

Black

Identity Conflict

At lunch today, Gus said, “You’re never gonna guess what I saw today. There was a great cartoon on. It was an Avatar cartoon. They were all running around with white hats and they had their tails chopped off, but it was great.”

I was pretty dumbfounded. “Gus, I think you are mistaken. That’s the Smurfs.”

He begged to differ. “Nope. Avatar. They’re blue and live in the forest.”

I wonder what’s going to happen when Gus catches an episode of The Snorks?

Black

Is today ground hog's day?

Happy Ground Hog's Day. Good ol' Phil saw his shadow and gave us six more weeks of winter. Thanks.

Feel free to repeat this message . . .

Gus

Ground Hog's Day!

Happy Ground Hog's Day. Good ol' Phil saw his shadow and gave us six more weeks of winter. Thanks. Appreciate it. The silver lining: Gus shut up about the blue people and started complaining about Ground Hogs.

Feel free to repeat this message . . .

Black

Avatar

Gus has been walking around all weekend with 3-D glasses on. Initially, I decided to just let him wear them . . . Saturday went by and then Sunday and then all day today he wore them. Finally I asked, "Gus, what's up with the glasses?"

"Avatar." He answered.

"The movie?" I asked.

"Yep. I'm waiting for those blue people to show up."

I really need some help people . . . really . . .

Black

download error . . .

Gus is trying to download an application that will tell him when his feed bowl is empty. I don't have the heart to tell him that he doesn't have an iPhone. The phone he does have hardly works out here on the farm. I really need a vacation.

Black

iPad, youPad . . .

Gus was online all day watching the big unveiling of Apple’s new iPad. He’s trying to get me to loan him $700 to buy one. I told him I can get a pad of paper for about a dollar down at Wal-Mart.

Black

Free Texting!

Connections . . .

Gus has gotten a bee in his bonnet about getting a cel phone. Apparently he thinks that if he gets a cel phone he'll be able to increase his efficiency. Applications. He needs applications.

I give up.

Black

Beware of Computer

Gus has been off the computer all day. He over heard the computer guy talking about bytes. Now he's afraid . . .

It's kinda nice not having to wipe drool off the keyboard.

Black

anti virus

We got the computer back today. I'm hoping some cellophane on the key board will keep Gus's drool out of the keys. The computer guy added new anti virus software. Which was kinda funny because the vet stopped by this morning with his own version of anti virus . . . in a needle.

You should've seen Gus practically weeping at the sight of a little needle.

Black

Malfunction Junction

Gus got some drool in the keyboard of the computer. We just got it back from the computer guy. I’ve grounded him from using the computer until further notice. But I think he may have snuck on . . . the keys are a little wet.

Black

heart of the matter . . .

At about 3:30 today, a big rig arrived and dropped off a pallet of Gummy Hearts.

Farmer is gonna be mad as heck when his credit card bill gets here.

Black

Brusha brusha twice each day . . .

I spent the majority of the day trying to explain to Gus, Mr. Gummy heart, why he should consider brushing his teeth. Plaque, gingivitis, and cavities didn’t even register with him. He just rolled his eyes and kept eating candy.

I’ll try again in the morning.

Black

Red 40? That can't be bad for you can it?

Gus

I heart Mondays . . .

Apparently the stores have replaced the Christmas trees and lights and wrapping paper with the Valentine’s Day stuff. All sorts of hearts and ribbons, lace and candy. How do I know this? Because Gus had gotten some gummy hearts from somewhere. Have you ever heard a 2 ton bull chewing on a bag of gummy hearts?

Love is in the air? More like saliva.

Black

Hunka Hunka . . .

We’re eating fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for dinner tonight.

Ingredients

White bread (2 slices per sandwich)

Peanut Butter

Banannas (approx 1 per sandwich)

Butter

Directions

Peal and slice your banana on the bias making nice long slivers. In a hot frying pan melt a teaspoon of butter until it’s foamy. While the butter is melting slather peanut butter on both slices of bread. Add the banana and close the sandwich. Add the whole sandwich to the melted butter and cook until golden brown. With a spatula, flip the sandwich onto the uncooked side, add a little butter and cook until golden brown and delicious.

Bon appétit.

Later on, we’re having some birthday cake. If you don’t understand why, you might not be cool enough to be reading this . . .

Black

Don't Mess with Texas?

Well, we were rooting for the Texas Longhorns to win the BCS (even Gus thinks that's a sham). But it's not looking good.

Oh well . . .

Black

freeze frame

The trip to the tailor's has been postponed. Freezing rain. And, I couldn't find the keys to the truck. Looks like mother nature has saved the day again.

Waiting on the January thaw,

Black

inseam?

I'm pretty sure I'm a 58 regular. Not sure about the inseam . . .

Gus

Welcome to the Future

Well, 2010 is here . . . and it starts pretty much the way last year ended . . .

Gus asked me to arrange a ride into town. He needed to go to the tailor. "I gotta pick up one of those fancy Law Suits."

Gotta appreciate consistency.

Black