Refund!

First off, Happy New Year! Happy 2010!

Secondly, I'm really upset. I think I'm going to retain some legal counsel. This alleged blue moon was not blue. It wasn't remotely blue. Not a bit. That's what I call, "false advertising" and I demand satisfaction.

Happy New Year!

Gus

Once in awhile . . .

Gus was watching to U.S. Farm Report and he heard that there’s a possibility of a blue moon on New Year’s Eve. He’s been up in the hay mow all day setting up a telescope.

I said, “Gus, you realize that a blue moon is pretty rare. It might not show up. Plus you have the big New Year’s Eve party. . .”

“Don’t worry, I can multitask,” he said.

Sheesh,

Black

Rolling in it

We were recycling all the wrapping paper from the Christmas festivities (ok, the goats do serve a purpose). Gus overheard Farmer talking about his big New Year’s Eve party. Farmer said, “We’re going to roll in a new year with friends and family and watching the ball drop.”

Gus asked later, “How many rolls is he going to need? More than a dozen?”

2010 is shaping up nicely,

Black

Merry Christmas. . .

Best wishes on this fine Christmas day.

I got Gus some oats and was not surprised when I opened his gift to me and found oats there too. At least he didn't get me some hair combs . . .

Hope everybody had a great day!

Black

Waiting Up

Gus has come up with the brilliant idea of waiting up to catch a glimpse of Santa. I'm trying to talk him out of this as it's the start of a lot of bad movies and cartoons. It never ends well. You need to be snug in your bed. Everybody knows that. Everybody except Gus.

Hopefully Gus will pass out from exhaustion soon. I've been good this year and hope Santa stops by the farm. Suppose we'll have to see what tomorrow brings.

Merry Christmas!

Black

Cookies!

Gus wanted to make cookies for Santa. So, we broke out the baking stuff and whipped up some cookies. We actually used about 5 pounds of flour more than the recipe called for . . . but that’s the Gus factor.

Ingredients

3 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 tablespoon milk

Powdered sugar, for rolling out dough

Directions

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. Place butter and sugar in large bowl and use your electric stand mixer to beat until light in color. Add the egg and milk and beat to combine. Put mixer on low and gradually add the dry ingredients. Beat until mixture pulls away from the side of the bowl. Divide the dough in half. Wrap it in waxed paper and stick it in the refrigerator for a couple hours.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.

Dust the surface where you’re going to roll out the dough with some powdered sugar. Use 1 wrapped pack of dough from refrigerator at a time. Dust your rolling pin with powdered sugar and roll out dough to 1/4-inch thick. Move the dough around and check underneath to make sure it is not sticking. If the dough has warmed up while you’re rolling, stick a cold cookie sheet on top for 10 minutes to chill. Now get out your cookie cutters and cut the dough into desired shapes. Stick your Christmas trees, rain deer or dinosaurs at least 1-inch apart on greased baking sheet, parchment, or silicone baking mat, and bake for 7 to 9 minutes or until they’re just starting to turn brown around the edges, rotating cookie sheet halfway through baking time. Let them sit on a baking sheet for 2 minutes after you take them out of the oven and then move to complete cooling on wire rack. Serve as is or ice as desired. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

We used a little orange juice mixed with confectioner’s sugar for a nice icing.

Enjoy,

Black.

Scape Goats

The goats invited us to a Christmas concert. I’ve never mentioned the goats before because, quite frankly, they’re a pain in the you know what. Gus and I went down to hear them sing. Talk about disappointing. It was a dozen goats lip syncing to an old Michael Bolton Christmas album and bobbing their dumb goat heads. Typical.

Gus found a recipe for sugar cookies. Tomorrow should be interesting.

Black

The Way the Cookie Crumbles . . .

The mail man delivered a tin of Christmas cookies today. Now Gus wants to make cookies for Santa. We don’t even have a recipe. And Christmas is only a few days away.

Help!

Black

Roger's Really Radical Recipe

Gus was so interested in tamales we called Roger for the recipe. Roger said this was a family recipe handed down from one generation to another. Gus asked if we could share it. Roger replied, “Sure. You’ll never get them to taste like Grandma’s anyway. Especially without the secret ingredient. . .”

Roger says this is what you’ll need:

· 4 to 5 dozen dried corn husks

For the cornmeal dough:

· 2 pounds yellow cornmeal, approximately 6 cups

· 1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt

· 1 tablespoon baking powder

· 7 1/2 ounces lard, approximately 1 cup

· 3 to 4 cups chicken broth

Making the Tamales

Getting your wrap on: Stick the husks in a large bowl or container and submerge completely in hot water. Soak the husks until they are soft and pliable, at least 45 minutes and up to 2 hours.

Rolling in the dough: Throw the cornmeal, salt, and baking powder into a large mixing bowl and mix. Add the lard and using your hands, knead together until the lard is well incorporated into the dry mixture. Gradually add chicken broth, 3 to 4 cups to create a dough that is like thick mashed potatoes. The dough should be moist but not wet. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and set aside until ready to use.

To assemble the tamales: Take the corn husks from the water and pat dry to remove excess water. Working in batches of 6, lay the husks on a towel and spread about 2 tablespoons of the dough in an even layer across the wide end of the husk to within 1/2-inch of the edges. Roll the husk so the dough folds over, then fold the bottom under to finish creating the tamale. Repeat until all husks, dough and filling are used. Tie the tamales, around the center, individually or in groups of 3, with kitchen twine.

To cook the tamales:

Stand the tamales upright on their folded ends, tightly packed together, in a saucepan. Add the broth from making the dough and any additional water so the liquid comes to 1-inch below the tops of the tamales. Try not to pour the broth directly into the tops of the tamales. Cover, place over high heat and bring to a boil, approximately 12 minutes. Remove the lid, reduce the heat to low, to maintain a low simmer, and cook until the dough is firm and pulls away easily from the husk, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Serve the tamales warm.

For a 'wet' hot tamale, serve with additional simmering liquid. Store leftover tamales, tightly wrapped in plastic wrap, in the freezer, for up to a month. To reheat, remove the plastic wrap and steam until heated through.

Enjoy,

Black

Tamale trouble

Obviously Gus had bigger eyes than his stomach. I decided to explain what tamales are. I told Gus that tamales are corn meal dough, sometimes stuffed with savory or sweet fillings, and cooked in a leaf wrapper. Usually corn husks are used for wrappers and the tamales are traditionally cooked by steaming them. In Mexico, tamales were once as ubiquitous as sandwiches. That means that they were everywhere.

Gus said, “Oh, you mean you’re not supposed to eat the husk?”

Maybe that’s why he had a belly ache.

Black

Hot Tamale, Cold Today . . .

The wind is really starting to get cold and I'm left with heartburn from too many tamales. What the heck is a tamale anyway?

Gus

ugg.

Sick. Too many tamales. Two hundred too many.

Ugg.

Gus

South of the Border Merry Christmas

It’s not every day you get a big box in the mail. And it’s also not every day that you get a big Styrofoam cooler in the previously mentioned box. I was a little hesitant about opening it. I may be a bull, but I saw the Godfather. . .

After awhile I opened it. It was corn tamales and a Christmas card from Roger “el Toro Loco”, our friend the professional rodeo bucking bull.

It’s great to hear from your friends during the holidays. Even better when they send good food.

Thanks Roger!

Black

I would like a train. Not one of those models or even a Lionel. I would like a real train. Diesel, not steam. And it would b really nice if it was blue. I would also like a bushel of apples. Honey Crisps. And some good chocolate.

That's not too much to ask for, is it?

Gus

Snow Day Wednesday

Wednesday morning we got close to eight inches of wet heavy snow. The kind of snow that makes great snow balls. Everything on the farm got real quiet and . . . and then it got real loud as we all played in the fresh white snow. What fun.

Jingle Horse Pick Up Your Feet . . .

A funny by product of the holiday season is when the bah humbuggers interact with those filled cheer and good will towards others. Gus tried to hitch up a set of sleigh bells on Roy. Hilarity ensued. You ever see a big ol’ work horse chasing a big ol’ Angus bull? In the snow? Funny.

Black

Jingle Jingle . . .

It’s been nonstop jingle bells here on the farm. It snowed for the first time and that really seems to have charged Gus up. He started singing jingle bells at the crack of dawn.

All I want for Christmas is laryngitis.

Black

Letter's from the farm

I heard Gus holler, “Hey Black! I’m writing your letter to Santa. How do you spell rhinoceros?”

I don’t even like rhinoceroses. Only 20 more days left in this holiday season. Will I survive?

Black

Technology, glorious technology . . .

Well, we had a technological melt down today. Gus was worried that Santa wouldn’t be able to read his handwriting. Make that, hoofwriting. So, he started typing the whole thing out on the computer. The trouble started when he clicked print. Paper started spitting out of the printer at a rapid pace and the pages rained down like snowflakes.

It took hours to get it to stop and even longer to pick up the mess.

Technology . . . sheesh.

Black

Gift Horse?

I decided today I’d be nice to Gus and actually help him with his letter. I mean, it is a Christmas letter to the guy in the big red suit.

“Gus,” I said, “You know the Roy and the other horses can’t actually deliver that letter, right?”

“Why not?” Gus asked.

“Well, the Pony Express was the name they used for the first fast mail service to cross the continent west of Missouri. They took the mail on horseback.”

“Um . . .” Gus stuttered.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you think Roy will give me back the $19.95 he charged me for express delivery?”

Horse Power?

Gus spent the day bothering the horses to deliver his letter.