Black an' Gus Blog

Peas?

2010-04-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

peas poetry

2010-04-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

Gus has been wandering around all day saying "Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, Pease porridge in the pot, nine days old; Some like it hot, some like it cold, Some like it in the pot, nine days old. . . "

I have no idea what it means, but I wish he'd shut up.

Black

Peas!

2010-04-12T19:48:00.001-07:00

Well, spring has sprung as people say. We've been spending a lot of time planting stuff up here on the farm. Today it was peas. Early Alaskan peas to be exact. We've got rows and rows of Early Alaskan peas planted.

It was pleasant, the pea planting . . .

Black

8 days remaining . . .

2010-04-07T17:30:00.001-07:00

Easter Bunny

2010-04-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Gus is very excited about Sunday and the Easter Bunny coming. He's stoked about Easter eggs and candy. He even mentioned it to the goats.

They've been in their pen mumbling "Hasenpfeffer. Hasenpfeffer. Hasenpfeffer!" Over and over again. I have no idea what they're talking about. They'll eat anything . . .

Black

Dinner

2010-03-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

We had lasagna for dinner tonight. It's basically noodles, cheese, noodles, cheese and sauce. Pretty simple . . . Pretty good.

Black

Ironic?

2010-03-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

Out here on the farm we get a little newspaper. It's got all the local news. Who got arrested and who died and even comics. It's called the "Evening Telegram." We've been getting it for years. A guy in a red Jeep delivers it usually sometime after 4 o'clock.

The big news today. . . they're changing the delivery time to a morning paper. Supposed to be delivered by 6 a.m. The guy in the Jeep is gonna have to get up real early.

What I'm wondering, are they going to still call it the "Evening Telegram" or are they gonna drop that?

Black

Goats!

2010-03-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

The Darn goats got out again. Farmer chased them for about two hours before he finally herded them back into their paddock. He pulled a muscle in his back. He's not happy. He's looking to hire some trolls . . .

Stupid goats.

Black

Goat Getter

2010-03-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

The goats are still up to no good. We're looking for mutton recipes. Send them in . . .

Please. They're asking for it.

Black

Darn Goats

2010-03-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

While the goats were out somebody chewed the mud flaps off Farmer's truck and some one chewed a hole in the front tire on the tractor and somebody ate the mail and the newspaper.

We're still looking for someone to blame.

Black

Escape Goats

2010-03-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the goats got out today. Looks like they either chewed through the fence or some how managed to climb over it.

We're looking for some one to blame.

Black

cool.

2010-03-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

The weather was gorgeous today. But, even though the sun shined all day, eating ice cream before bed is not a smart idea.

I'm freezing now . . .

Gus

Vitamin D

2010-03-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

Oh Yeah . . .

Feeling good today . . . the sun was out all day and losing that hour of sleep to daylight savings time was worth it.

The weather man said it's supposed to be nice all week. Let's hope he's right . . .

Black

March Madness

2010-03-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

The radio was talking about March Madness . . . I agree whole heartedly. It's been gray and rainy all day. I'm pretty mad at March myself.

Black

The Monte Cristo . . .

2010-03-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

What's the deal with this? It's a sandwich made from French Toast with ham and cheese. It's not breakfast, it's not lunch or brunch.

It's a platypus.

Gus

Breakfast for Lunch = No.

2010-03-11T18:50:00.001-08:00

Breakfast for lunch doesn't work for me. It's all confusing. Breakfast for dinner, you know that you're doing something special. Breakfast for lunch is just not right. It's like the El Camino. Not really a car but not really a truck.

Breakfast for lunch is the El Camino of meals. It's brunch. It's confusing.

Gus

Penny Candy

2010-03-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

Whatever happened to it? If anybody answers, "Inflation" they're gonna get a hoof in the mouth. The whole idea of getting a sweet piece of awesome for a whole penny is awesome.

I wish we could bring it back.

Black

More Breakfast for Dinner

2010-03-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah. And French toast is awesome too!

I love imported food.

Gus

Breakfast for dinner

2010-03-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

There's nothing better than breakfast for dinner. Especially pancakes.

It's two great tastes that taste great together. Cake and pan . . . er, um . . . you get what I'm saying. . .

Pancakes!

Gus

300 channels . . .

2010-03-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

That's right. We've got 300 channels. Digital Cable and Satellite TV and there's nothing on. Nada. Zip. Nuthin.

How come we still get a bill. Well, Farmer gets the bill . . . but you get the idea.

Goin' to bed,

Black

Banana bread

2010-03-03T18:17:00.000-08:00

One of Farmer’s friends had some extra bananas. Not just one or two . . . we’re talking cases. He gave them to Farmer. So, for the past couple days, Farmer has been baking all these bananas into banana bread. At first it was great. A nice warm banana flavored bread with some tasty nuts. But after about the fifteenth loaf, it’s getting old.

Plus now Gus smells like bananas.

Black

As the Crow Flies

2010-03-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

Today was garbage day at the farm. Farmer dragged the plastic dumpster out to the edge of the drive way. Me and Gus watched him as he pulled the container through the snow. A bunch of crows landed on the top. Somehow they opened the top and got inside. Boy, Farmer was mad. He rushed out and chased them away. The crows flew into the telephone wires.

Gus said, "Why do they say, "as the crow flies"? They don't seem to go very far."

He has a point.

Black.

Back to the Grind

2010-03-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Well we got about two feet of snow Friday and we spent the weekend digging out. Back breaking shoveling and tedious moving of tons of white snow. It was the heavy wet good snowball making kind.

The only good thing to come out of it was the Hot Chocolate!

Black

Snow Plow

2010-02-25T18:03:00.000-08:00

Well, the goats were actually smart this time. It's not fit for man or beast out there. It's snowing like cats and dogs or whatever the winter equivalent is.

With that said, guess where Gus is? That's right. He's out in the snow using the tractor to plow paths to and fro . . .

He needs supervision.

Gotta go . . .

Black

snow emergency

2010-02-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

I got a memo from the goats.

"Due to inclement weather we won’t be working tomorrow."

Work? I still haven’t figured out why Farmer even lets those stupid goats live on the farm. Let alone what work they do.

Whether emergency.

Crazy,

Black

whether men

2010-02-24T08:08:00.000-08:00

I think they should call meterologists "whether men" because they just tell you whatever they want whether they are right or wrong. We were supposed to get 12 inches of snow. What we really got was 3 inches. Big difference.

I wouldn't know what to do if they called for a nice sun shiny day.

Black

Toast!

2010-02-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I like toast much better than bread. Sure, they're basically the same stuff. But toast is so much better. It's warm. It's crunchy. It's buttery. And it's fun to say.

Toast. Toast. Toast? Toast!

Toast,

Gus

Lost?

2010-02-17T20:45:00.001-08:00

Gus found out that John Locke has been lost on this island for six seasons. He said, "Even I could get found in six years. Sheesh!"

He might be right.

Black

Gilligan

2010-02-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Last night they had mens figure skating on the Olympics. I just can't watch that stuff. It's like they're trying to make a contest out of art. Anyway, Gus started to flip around on the old remote control. He landed on some show about a bunch of people stranded on an island.

"Oh. Leave it here. This is Gilligan's Island."

Gus said, "Yeah, the three hour tour?"

So we watched. Forty five minuted in and I'm confused. Who is this John Locke guy?

Lost,

Black

Downhill

2010-02-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

Gus has watched the Olympics for the past few days. He's really enjoyed it. So much so that he's ordered skis off the internet.

What's going to happen when they show the bob sled?

Black

school books

2010-02-11T19:45:00.000-08:00

The mail man delivered a huge box today. It had Gus’s name on it. Farmer dragged it down to the barn. Gus tore the tape off the box and looked inside with a smile.

“Whatcha got?” I asked.

“Correspondence school detective books. I’m gonna learn to be a private eye.” He said. “Yeah. I got two eyes so I should be able to charge double.”

It’s going to be a long weekend.

Black

snow fall so far

2010-02-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

We got a whole half inch of snow last night. Barely a dusting. Did Gus help shovel? Only if you count curling up with his blanket and not leaving the barn as helping.

I should have taken a picture.

Black

Snow Day?

2010-02-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

Gus heard on the news tonight that we’re supposed to get a big snow storm tonight. The super smart weather guy said we could expect one to eight inches. With heavy winds to boot. Now Gus is in a panic state. He’s made seven trips to the silo to check on the grain and he’s been checking the hay mow every half hour. If he could drive (well enough) he’d have driven downtown and crowded the grocery stores with the little old ladies.

What am I going to do if the weather man is right and we actually get some snow?

Black

Super Bowl

2010-02-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

We had a little shin dig for the big game. We were rooting for the Colts because Roy was a big fan. The Goats brought some dip that tasted like . . . well, goat food.

Gus ate a whole bowl of Reese's Pieces. He hasn't felt well all day.

Ha!

Black

Identity Conflict

2010-02-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

At lunch today, Gus said, “You’re never gonna guess what I saw today. There was a great cartoon on. It was an Avatar cartoon. They were all running around with white hats and they had their tails chopped off, but it was great.”

I was pretty dumbfounded. “Gus, I think you are mistaken. That’s the Smurfs.”

He begged to differ. “Nope. Avatar. They’re blue and live in the forest.”

I wonder what’s going to happen when Gus catches an episode of The Snorks?

Black

Is today ground hog's day?

2010-02-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Ground Hog's Day. Good ol' Phil saw his shadow and gave us six more weeks of winter. Thanks.

Feel free to repeat this message . . .

Gus

Ground Hog's Day!

2010-02-02T19:25:00.000-08:00

Happy Ground Hog's Day. Good ol' Phil saw his shadow and gave us six more weeks of winter. Thanks. Appreciate it. The silver lining: Gus shut up about the blue people and started complaining about Ground Hogs.

Feel free to repeat this message . . .

Black

Avatar

2010-02-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

Gus has been walking around all weekend with 3-D glasses on. Initially, I decided to just let him wear them . . . Saturday went by and then Sunday and then all day today he wore them. Finally I asked, "Gus, what's up with the glasses?"

"Avatar." He answered.

"The movie?" I asked.

"Yep. I'm waiting for those blue people to show up."

I really need some help people . . . really . . .

Black

download error . . .

2010-01-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

Gus is trying to download an application that will tell him when his feed bowl is empty. I don't have the heart to tell him that he doesn't have an iPhone. The phone he does have hardly works out here on the farm. I really need a vacation.

Black

iPad, youPad . . .

2010-01-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

Gus was online all day watching the big unveiling of Apple’s new iPad. He’s trying to get me to loan him $700 to buy one. I told him I can get a pad of paper for about a dollar down at Wal-Mart.

Black

2010-01-26T19:55:00.001-08:00

Free Texting!

Connections . . .

2010-01-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

Gus has gotten a bee in his bonnet about getting a cel phone. Apparently he thinks that if he gets a cel phone he'll be able to increase his efficiency. Applications. He needs applications.

I give up.

Black

Beware of Computer

2010-01-22T20:45:00.000-08:00

Gus has been off the computer all day. He over heard the computer guy talking about bytes. Now he's afraid . . .

It's kinda nice not having to wipe drool off the keyboard.

Black

anti virus

2010-01-21T18:06:00.000-08:00

We got the computer back today. I'm hoping some cellophane on the key board will keep Gus's drool out of the keys. The computer guy added new anti virus software. Which was kinda funny because the vet stopped by this morning with his own version of anti virus . . . in a needle.

You should've seen Gus practically weeping at the sight of a little needle.

Black

Malfunction Junction

2010-01-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

Gus got some drool in the keyboard of the computer. We just got it back from the computer guy. I’ve grounded him from using the computer until further notice. But I think he may have snuck on . . . the keys are a little wet.

Black

heart of the matter . . .

2010-01-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

At about 3:30 today, a big rig arrived and dropped off a pallet of Gummy Hearts.

Farmer is gonna be mad as heck when his credit card bill gets here.

Black

Brusha brusha twice each day . . .

2010-01-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

I spent the majority of the day trying to explain to Gus, Mr. Gummy heart, why he should consider brushing his teeth. Plaque, gingivitis, and cavities didn’t even register with him. He just rolled his eyes and kept eating candy.

I’ll try again in the morning.

Black

2010-01-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

Red 40? That can't be bad for you can it?

Gus

I heart Mondays . . .

2010-01-11T18:14:00.001-08:00

Apparently the stores have replaced the Christmas trees and lights and wrapping paper with the Valentine’s Day stuff. All sorts of hearts and ribbons, lace and candy. How do I know this? Because Gus had gotten some gummy hearts from somewhere. Have you ever heard a 2 ton bull chewing on a bag of gummy hearts?

Love is in the air? More like saliva.

Black

Hunka Hunka . . .

2010-01-08T11:37:00.001-08:00

We’re eating fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for dinner tonight.

Ingredients

White bread (2 slices per sandwich)

Peanut Butter

Banannas (approx 1 per sandwich)

Butter

Directions

Peal and slice your banana on the bias making nice long slivers. In a hot frying pan melt a teaspoon of butter until it’s foamy. While the butter is melting slather peanut butter on both slices of bread. Add the banana and close the sandwich. Add the whole sandwich to the melted butter and cook until golden brown. With a spatula, flip the sandwich onto the uncooked side, add a little butter and cook until golden brown and delicious.

Bon appétit.

Later on, we’re having some birthday cake. If you don’t understand why, you might not be cool enough to be reading this . . .

Black

Don't Mess with Texas?

2010-01-07T19:30:00.000-08:00

Well, we were rooting for the Texas Longhorns to win the BCS (even Gus thinks that's a sham). But it's not looking good.

Oh well . . .

Black

freeze frame

2010-01-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

The trip to the tailor's has been postponed. Freezing rain. And, I couldn't find the keys to the truck. Looks like mother nature has saved the day again.

Waiting on the January thaw,

Black

inseam?

2010-01-05T19:42:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I'm a 58 regular. Not sure about the inseam . . .

Gus

Welcome to the Future

2010-01-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

Well, 2010 is here . . . and it starts pretty much the way last year ended . . .

Gus asked me to arrange a ride into town. He needed to go to the tailor. "I gotta pick up one of those fancy Law Suits."

Gotta appreciate consistency.

Black

Refund!

2009-12-31T22:04:00.000-08:00

First off, Happy New Year! Happy 2010!

Secondly, I'm really upset. I think I'm going to retain some legal counsel. This alleged blue moon was not blue. It wasn't remotely blue. Not a bit. That's what I call, "false advertising" and I demand satisfaction.

Happy New Year!

Gus

Once in awhile . . .

2009-12-30T11:07:00.001-08:00

Gus was watching to U.S. Farm Report and he heard that there’s a possibility of a blue moon on New Year’s Eve. He’s been up in the hay mow all day setting up a telescope.

I said, “Gus, you realize that a blue moon is pretty rare. It might not show up. Plus you have the big New Year’s Eve party. . .”

“Don’t worry, I can multitask,” he said.

Sheesh,

Black

Rolling in it

2009-12-28T16:42:00.000-08:00

We were recycling all the wrapping paper from the Christmas festivities (ok, the goats do serve a purpose). Gus overheard Farmer talking about his big New Year’s Eve party. Farmer said, “We’re going to roll in a new year with friends and family and watching the ball drop.”

Gus asked later, “How many rolls is he going to need? More than a dozen?”

2010 is shaping up nicely,

Black

Merry Christmas. . .

2009-12-25T18:02:00.000-08:00

Best wishes on this fine Christmas day.

I got Gus some oats and was not surprised when I opened his gift to me and found oats there too. At least he didn't get me some hair combs . . .

Hope everybody had a great day!

Black

Waiting Up

2009-12-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

Gus has come up with the brilliant idea of waiting up to catch a glimpse of Santa. I'm trying to talk him out of this as it's the start of a lot of bad movies and cartoons. It never ends well. You need to be snug in your bed. Everybody knows that. Everybody except Gus.

Hopefully Gus will pass out from exhaustion soon. I've been good this year and hope Santa stops by the farm. Suppose we'll have to see what tomorrow brings.

Merry Christmas!

Black

Cookies!

2009-12-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

Gus wanted to make cookies for Santa. So, we broke out the baking stuff and whipped up some cookies. We actually used about 5 pounds of flour more than the recipe called for . . . but that’s the Gus factor.

Ingredients

3 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 tablespoon milk

Powdered sugar, for rolling out dough

Directions

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. Place butter and sugar in large bowl and use your electric stand mixer to beat until light in color. Add the egg and milk and beat to combine. Put mixer on low and gradually add the dry ingredients. Beat until mixture pulls away from the side of the bowl. Divide the dough in half. Wrap it in waxed paper and stick it in the refrigerator for a couple hours.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.

Dust the surface where you’re going to roll out the dough with some powdered sugar. Use 1 wrapped pack of dough from refrigerator at a time. Dust your rolling pin with powdered sugar and roll out dough to 1/4-inch thick. Move the dough around and check underneath to make sure it is not sticking. If the dough has warmed up while you’re rolling, stick a cold cookie sheet on top for 10 minutes to chill. Now get out your cookie cutters and cut the dough into desired shapes. Stick your Christmas trees, rain deer or dinosaurs at least 1-inch apart on greased baking sheet, parchment, or silicone baking mat, and bake for 7 to 9 minutes or until they’re just starting to turn brown around the edges, rotating cookie sheet halfway through baking time. Let them sit on a baking sheet for 2 minutes after you take them out of the oven and then move to complete cooling on wire rack. Serve as is or ice as desired. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

We used a little orange juice mixed with confectioner’s sugar for a nice icing.

Enjoy,

Black.

Scape Goats

2009-12-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

The goats invited us to a Christmas concert. I’ve never mentioned the goats before because, quite frankly, they’re a pain in the you know what. Gus and I went down to hear them sing. Talk about disappointing. It was a dozen goats lip syncing to an old Michael Bolton Christmas album and bobbing their dumb goat heads. Typical.

Gus found a recipe for sugar cookies. Tomorrow should be interesting.

Black

The Way the Cookie Crumbles . . .

2009-12-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

The mail man delivered a tin of Christmas cookies today. Now Gus wants to make cookies for Santa. We don’t even have a recipe. And Christmas is only a few days away.

Help!

Black

Roger's Really Radical Recipe

2009-12-18T17:34:00.001-08:00

Gus was so interested in tamales we called Roger for the recipe. Roger said this was a family recipe handed down from one generation to another. Gus asked if we could share it. Roger replied, “Sure. You’ll never get them to taste like Grandma’s anyway. Especially without the secret ingredient. . .”

Roger says this is what you’ll need:

· 4 to 5 dozen dried corn husks

For the cornmeal dough:

· 2 pounds yellow cornmeal, approximately 6 cups

· 1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt

· 1 tablespoon baking powder

· 7 1/2 ounces lard, approximately 1 cup

· 3 to 4 cups chicken broth

Making the Tamales

Getting your wrap on: Stick the husks in a large bowl or container and submerge completely in hot water. Soak the husks until they are soft and pliable, at least 45 minutes and up to 2 hours.

Rolling in the dough: Throw the cornmeal, salt, and baking powder into a large mixing bowl and mix. Add the lard and using your hands, knead together until the lard is well incorporated into the dry mixture. Gradually add chicken broth, 3 to 4 cups to create a dough that is like thick mashed potatoes. The dough should be moist but not wet. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and set aside until ready to use.

To assemble the tamales: Take the corn husks from the water and pat dry to remove excess water. Working in batches of 6, lay the husks on a towel and spread about 2 tablespoons of the dough in an even layer across the wide end of the husk to within 1/2-inch of the edges. Roll the husk so the dough folds over, then fold the bottom under to finish creating the tamale. Repeat until all husks, dough and filling are used. Tie the tamales, around the center, individually or in groups of 3, with kitchen twine.

To cook the tamales:

Stand the tamales upright on their folded ends, tightly packed together, in a saucepan. Add the broth from making the dough and any additional water so the liquid comes to 1-inch below the tops of the tamales. Try not to pour the broth directly into the tops of the tamales. Cover, place over high heat and bring to a boil, approximately 12 minutes. Remove the lid, reduce the heat to low, to maintain a low simmer, and cook until the dough is firm and pulls away easily from the husk, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Serve the tamales warm.

For a 'wet' hot tamale, serve with additional simmering liquid. Store leftover tamales, tightly wrapped in plastic wrap, in the freezer, for up to a month. To reheat, remove the plastic wrap and steam until heated through.

Enjoy,

Black

Tamale trouble

2009-12-17T17:35:00.000-08:00

Obviously Gus had bigger eyes than his stomach. I decided to explain what tamales are. I told Gus that tamales are corn meal dough, sometimes stuffed with savory or sweet fillings, and cooked in a leaf wrapper. Usually corn husks are used for wrappers and the tamales are traditionally cooked by steaming them. In Mexico, tamales were once as ubiquitous as sandwiches. That means that they were everywhere.

Gus said, “Oh, you mean you’re not supposed to eat the husk?”

Maybe that’s why he had a belly ache.

Black

Hot Tamale, Cold Today . . .

2009-12-16T17:59:00.000-08:00

The wind is really starting to get cold and I'm left with heartburn from too many tamales. What the heck is a tamale anyway?

Gus

ugg.

2009-12-15T18:13:00.000-08:00

Sick. Too many tamales. Two hundred too many.

Ugg.

Gus

South of the Border Merry Christmas

2009-12-14T20:27:00.000-08:00

It’s not every day you get a big box in the mail. And it’s also not every day that you get a big Styrofoam cooler in the previously mentioned box. I was a little hesitant about opening it. I may be a bull, but I saw the Godfather. . .

After awhile I opened it. It was corn tamales and a Christmas card from Roger “el Toro Loco”, our friend the professional rodeo bucking bull.

It’s great to hear from your friends during the holidays. Even better when they send good food.

Thanks Roger!

Black

2009-12-11T19:36:00.000-08:00

I would like a train. Not one of those models or even a Lionel. I would like a real train. Diesel, not steam. And it would b really nice if it was blue. I would also like a bushel of apples. Honey Crisps. And some good chocolate.

That's not too much to ask for, is it?

Gus

Snow Day Wednesday

2009-12-10T17:22:00.000-08:00

Wednesday morning we got close to eight inches of wet heavy snow. The kind of snow that makes great snow balls. Everything on the farm got real quiet and . . . and then it got real loud as we all played in the fresh white snow. What fun.

Jingle Horse Pick Up Your Feet . . .

2009-12-08T15:48:00.000-08:00

A funny by product of the holiday season is when the bah humbuggers interact with those filled cheer and good will towards others. Gus tried to hitch up a set of sleigh bells on Roy. Hilarity ensued. You ever see a big ol’ work horse chasing a big ol’ Angus bull? In the snow? Funny.

Black

Jingle Jingle . . .

2009-12-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

It’s been nonstop jingle bells here on the farm. It snowed for the first time and that really seems to have charged Gus up. He started singing jingle bells at the crack of dawn.

All I want for Christmas is laryngitis.

Black

Letter's from the farm

2009-12-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

I heard Gus holler, “Hey Black! I’m writing your letter to Santa. How do you spell rhinoceros?”

I don’t even like rhinoceroses. Only 20 more days left in this holiday season. Will I survive?

Black

Technology, glorious technology . . .

2009-12-03T19:11:00.000-08:00

Well, we had a technological melt down today. Gus was worried that Santa wouldn’t be able to read his handwriting. Make that, hoofwriting. So, he started typing the whole thing out on the computer. The trouble started when he clicked print. Paper started spitting out of the printer at a rapid pace and the pages rained down like snowflakes.

It took hours to get it to stop and even longer to pick up the mess.

Technology . . . sheesh.

Black

Gift Horse?

2009-12-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

I decided today I’d be nice to Gus and actually help him with his letter. I mean, it is a Christmas letter to the guy in the big red suit.

“Gus,” I said, “You know the Roy and the other horses can’t actually deliver that letter, right?”

“Why not?” Gus asked.

“Well, the Pony Express was the name they used for the first fast mail service to cross the continent west of Missouri. They took the mail on horseback.”

“Um . . .” Gus stuttered.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you think Roy will give me back the $19.95 he charged me for express delivery?”

Horse Power?

2009-12-01T16:08:00.000-08:00

Gus spent the day bothering the horses to deliver his letter.

2009-11-30T16:46:00.000-08:00

I don’t know how Gus did it and some things shouldn’t be questioned . . . but he managed to get the big LCD television into the barn. We watched college football all weekend. We like the University of Buffalo Bulls and the Boise State Broncos.

This morning Gus asked how many stamps he would need to mail his letter to Santa Claus.

“Using the ol’ Pony Express, huh?” I said.

Gus said, “Nope. The post office has that blue eagle on the side of their trucks . . ."

This could be dangerous.

Black

Black's Friday

2009-11-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I’m exhausted. The alarm clock went off way too early. I hit the snooze button and tried to go back to sleep. No luck. Gus never showed up for breakfast. And he wasn’t at lunch. I started to get a little worried.

He was a little upset when Mother Nature and Father Time didn’t make it to Thanksgiving dinner (not even dessert). But, I thought he got over it with copious amounts of pie.

I was seriously considering calling 911 when the barn phone rang. (Yeah, we have a phone in the barn. A fax too. )

Gus said, “Hey Black. Can you get Farmer to come pick me up? The 54 inch LCD television won’t fit into the taxi.”

I have a feeling it’s going to be a long holiday season.

Black

Pie!

2009-11-26T15:05:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T08:50:00.001-08:00

I asked Gus to ratchet down the questions and overall goofball antics today. Today is reserved for reflection and giving thanks.

“Like oats?” Gus asked.

No. Not oats. Sure, you can be thankful for oats and food and even other material things. But giving thanks for your 54 inch LCD is not what Thanksgiving is for. Give thanks for your friends and family. Even the goofy ones like Gus.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Black.

Weird Wednesdy . . .

2009-11-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

Gus asked about his letter of recommendation about three hundred times today. I told him I have writer’s block. After lunch he popped into the barn and I thought it was going to be number three hundred and one. Nope. He asked, “Is it too late to invite Mother Nature and Father Time to Thanksgiving dinner?”

I shoulda went to Mexico for the holidays . . .

Black

Eggstremely Fine Young Fellow

2009-11-24T15:50:00.000-08:00

At lunch Gus produced some paper work. “Is this more egg stuff?” I asked.

“Nope.” He replied. “I think I have that under control. I need you to write me a letter of recommendation. For the professor job.”

Gus left the papers, a pen and confusion for me.

What am I going to do? They wouldn't really hire him, would they?

Black

Monday Egg-o-nomics

2009-11-23T17:21:00.000-08:00

Gus has been driving me nuts about the chickens. Increasing yield and stuff like that. All day he’s been asking chicken questions. He even asked, “Is it still Chicken Kiev if it’s served in Boston?”

At dinner I threw him a curve ball. “Hey Gus,” I said. “Suppose there’s a rooster on the top of the chicken coop. It lays an egg. Which side of the roof does the egg roll off?”

He got out a slide rule and a map. I haven’t heard from him since.

Black

Supply & Demand

2009-11-20T17:08:00.001-08:00

Gus has exhausted my supply of patience with his demanding questions. He's been bugging me about interest rates and stock market forecasts and wheat futures. I haven't got a clue.

He's up to something. I hope I figure it out before he can cause too much trouble.

Black

Poached . . .

2009-11-19T15:43:00.001-08:00

Gus has been asking me a lot of questions today. Mostly about eggs. Do I like them scrambled? Over easy? At lunch he asked if I liked them hardboiled. I heard him asking Roy and the other horses too. Omelets, quiche and Benedict?

After dinner I found a news paper by the oats bin. It was folded up but one of the classified ads was circled in red. It was a “help wanted” ad from the local community college. They’re looking for an Economics Professor.

Egg-o-nomics . . .

Sheesh!

Black

Confused . . .

2009-11-18T17:03:00.000-08:00

Need a little help. What’s up with all these words that sound alike? Ya know,like, fore, for and four? I need some help ‘cause I’m trying to update my resume. I don’t wanna use the wrong one in there form because then there going to think I’m dumb.

Help?

Gus

Meaty-er

2009-11-17T17:15:00.000-08:00

Wow. I'm tired. Stayed up way too late last night. Me and Gus watched the Leonid Meteor Shower. It started at 4 a.m. it was worth it though. Beautiful. It's amazing that something so pretty is made by space dust and particles flashing through our atmosphere. Science is amazing. We're gonna try to watch again tonight.

I'm off for a nap.

Black

2009-11-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

Spent all weekend with Gus nagging me about Mother Nature and Father Time and the Valentine's Day cherubs. The whole conversation degraded and I was just about to have to explain "the birds and bees" . . . but the cider mill down the road was having a sale and we wend down there. You'd be amazed at how many powdered doughnuts Gus can get from people by just looking silly.

Cider and powdered doughnuts. That's a good weekend . . .

Black

Fri! Day!

2009-11-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

If I had a nickel for every time Gus said, "Father Time" or "Mother Nature" I would have approximately 22 million dollars.

I threw him a curve ball and said, "Where do you think all those Valentine's Day babies come from?"

I'm hoping that will keep him busy for the weekend.

Black

Headache!

2009-11-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

I have a headache. I thought I had explained Mother Nature enough to satisfy Gus. He was quiet as we watched the Country Music Association awards. Hey, we live on a farm . . . in the country . . . anyway, no mention of Mother Nature. Until this morning.

Gus asked, “Is Mother Nature married to Father Time?”

Arrrgh. I didn’t know what to say. I simply answered, “Yep.”

Mother Nature

2009-11-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

Spent the day explaining Mother Nature to Gus and it didn’t go so well. I started out over a nice breakfast of oats. I tried to explain Mother Nature is just a representation of the forces of nature. That went downhill from there.

By lunch time I explained Mother Nature goes back to Greek myth. Old school. Just about every culture had version of Mother Nature.

“There’s more than one Mother Nature?” he asked.

I finally gave up and told him that she just controls the symbols the weather man uses on his map. He bought it. For now . . .

What1?!

2009-11-10T12:11:00.001-08:00

I'm slightly confused. My Mom's name ws Black Alice and she won a blue ribbon at the county fair. Whatcha talking about Black?

What a nice day . . .

2009-11-09T16:44:00.001-08:00

Wow. What a beautiful day. Sunshine and fall leaves. We had our first frost a couple weeks ago so you know what that means. Indian summer. For those of you not in the know, Indian summer is a weird little gift from ol’ Mother Nature. After the first frost of the autumn season if the temperature rises up somewhere about sixty degrees, then it’s an Indian summer. Some people look at it as a respite before the snow starts falling. Some think it’s a reminder of the summer past. I just like the chance at some more nice weather . . .

Enjoy it while you can . . . snow’ll be here soon.

Black

T.G.I.F.

2009-11-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

Thank God it's Friday. Amen. Sometimes making it through the week is a miracle. Especially when Gus is around. I added a password to the computer so I'm hoping I'll be able to control him a little.

Somehow he conned some extra molasses from somewhere. He was chuckling all through dinner about it. I told him, "Karma is a cruel mistress."

"Who's Karma?" He asked, "One of the pigs?"

I give up. Hopefully, I'll survive the weekend.

Black

Hack'd!

2009-11-05T13:00:00.001-08:00

Mwa ha ha haaaa! Black went down to the pond and I got on the computer. I just tried to order 25lbs of Chuckles jelly candies. I only like the green ones. Anyway, they won’t ship to a rural route box . . . could somebody give me their address and then send them to me?

Oh, here comes Black . . . gotta go . . .

Gus

Taking it easy . . .

2009-11-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

Not much going on today. I hid the power cord so Gus can't cause too much trouble . . . at least not digitally . . .

The weather is starting to turn. It's getting colder. But today the sun came out and we went up to the tree and did . . . well, we did nothing. We just sat there and watched the sun shine and the falling leaves. It's funny how doing nothing can be the most rewarding thing.

Black

Arrrrgh!!!

2009-11-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

It's day 2 with wifi here on the farm and I'm ready to freak out. The day started off with the feed truck getting here early. That's not a bad thing. The feed guy dropped off 22,000 lbs of feed instead of 2,200. How did this happen? Apparently Gus got his hooves on the keyboard and ordered it up from the feed store. Boy was Farmer upset. He ran up one side of the feed truck driver and down the other. But, the invoice didn't lie.

Farmer said he'd have to rob Peter to pay Paul.

That just confused Gus. Gus says to just use Pay-Pal.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better . . .

Black

Hello!

2009-11-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

Well, we finally finagled some wireless down here in the barn. If I can keep Gus offline (he keeps trying to order oats and comic books) we'll hopefully have frequent updates about what's going on down here on the farm. There's lots of work and stuff to do. All the hay's been stacked away . . . stop back soon.

thanks . . .

Black